Happy Advent, O come o come, Emmanuel

1st week Advent

The ex files

I just chatted with a dear friend who recently has a new bf. She told me she vetoed her bf to stop keeping in touch with his ex and to remove her from his facebook friend's list, but the bf refused to do so. He should've seen it coming, the fire broke out. She got jealous and irritated from time to time, to the extreme measure that she fears her bf is thinking about his ex while making love to her. After a while, the bf gave in and removed her from his contact list. But it was kinda late since she thinks he should've done this earlier. Would all of these dramas not happen if he agreed to do what she wanted from the very beginning?

I recall watching an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie was haunted by the image of her bf's ex-wife and decided to personally check on the ex by pretending she had some book proposal and even setting up a meeting with the ex. FYI, the ex works in publishing. Well, curiosity kills the cat.. The ex is smart and stunning, Carrie felt threatened although she herself supposed to be smart and stunning as well. Hm, in my personal opinion, I don't think that Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty, so no wonder she felt threatened :p Anyway, watching this makes you wonder, why this sudden obsession?

Another episode of Desperate Housewives : Gaby was furious when she found out that her husband was going to work together with his ex gf. Please don't throw the first stone.. I admit I love those soap operas, tee hee.. See? at least I'm willing to admit it, I know I'm shallow :D

During my summer vacation, I met a very pretty and fun girl. She has this cool job which pays well and allows her to travel around the world. We had a drink together and she shared her story. Her fiance has like 17 ex gfs. I repeat, seventeen. She was actually quite bothered about this fact but she tried to get over it. What still bothers her sometimes is the fact that her fiance's still friends with his last gf, whom he cared about a lot. In fact, they have a really close friendship where they regularly call each other to update news etc. She had met this ex and known that the ex has no hidden agenda and is a really nice girl. But still, she cried when she told me this. She tried very hard to accept it and tried to be an understanding gf who doesn't have any problem with her own insecurity and this platonic friendship but it's immensely difficult for her..

I think if this 'friendship' really bothers her, then she should tell her fiance to stop contacting his ex, instead of crying alone in the middle of the night. She said she doesn't want to be so selfish to break a friendship bond. I admire her for her effort of taming the green-eyed monster, because I'm a very selfish person. I'm also someone who doesn't believe in platonic relationship between people who've been together before.

Back then when I got together with my bf, I sweetly (but poisonously) asked my bf to stop contacting his exes, he said ok. Afterwards I caught him chatting with his ex and lied to me about it. When I asked he told me,"She's just a friend I used to travel with bla bla.." He forgot that I have an elephant memory, meaning if he told me something, I can remember the details very well. I hate this sometimes. As you know, some things are better forgotten, but 'thanks' to my good memory those still linger on.. Long story short, we got into a fight and I VETOed him to break off contact with his exes. It's selfish I know, but so what? I don't want to torture myself pretending to be nice and understanding, I'm just being honest to myself and I want us to be happy. And the relationship can't go smoothly if I'm not happy. Call me a self-centered bitch, and see if I care ;)

Anyway, she is not happy with this and until now she keeps sending him messages saying how sad she is that he doesn't talk to her anymore, etc etc. Mind you, she even told his other friends to tell him how disappointed she is that they can't be friends anymore. How embarassing is that.. I can understand this if they used to be best of friends or something, but the truth is they weren't that close either.. And the funny thing is she herself vetoed her own bf to break contact with exes and didn't even allow her own bf to go to his ex gf's wedding! Hey, even I wouldn't sink that low.. And here she is, pestering her own ex to talk to her. Honestly, I was quite pissed off and would like to tell her to f*ck off and get a life. But since I have class (:p) I'll just brush it off and laugh at how pathetic it is.

Back to jealousy, fear, insecurity, even obsession.. Why?
I found this in some forum,
"Because they are a reminder that this relationship could end too, that everything she/he is saying to you, doing with you, she/he did with him or her too once, and that you are not alone in knowing the inner territories of your other half, as they have been well travelled."

I think I can relate. But sooner or later we'll all arrive at one point where we have to try to think positively that we all have fear of the unknown, but the fear shouldn't be jeopardizing the known.

nicely put..

Why did Cinderella run away when the clock turned 12?
To remind us that everything has its limitations, even dreams

Why did Ariel decide to exchange her fins with feet?
To show us that anyone will try to lose anything just to be happy

Cinta berdarah itu membunuhmu

atas nama cinta kamu dibungkam
atas nama cinta kamu dibelenggu
atas nama cinta kamu menangis
atas nama cinta kamu diinjak
atas nama cinta sayapmu patah
atas nama cinta kamu dicekik
atas nama cinta kamu diikat
atas nama cinta kamu pun terbunuh

(ah sampah, atas nama ego kamu mati)


In the name of love you are silenced
In the name of love you are shackled
In the name of love you cried
In the name of love you are crushed
In the name of love your wings are broken
In the name of love you are strangled
In the name of love you are tied
In the name of love and you are killed

(ah trash, in the name of ego you are dead)

too much love will kill you
this love is bleeding

Cute little fluffy girlfriend from hell

Honestly, I never thought of myself as someone who makes other people's lives a living hell, but today I have to admit that I am in fact a girlfriend from hell, (complete with sharp fangs and whip), moody and short tempered (only towards boyfriend, curiously).

Today I was having my mood swing for the 1 millionth time. After being temporarily autistic through the afternoon, occassionally snapping at my bf, and ignoring him most of the time, it was 5 PM already and we were planning to make some vietnamese roll, so I left the house to go grocery shopping without saying anything to him. I was standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus to come, and there he was, running to catch me at the bus stop, holding an umbrella. Yep, it was snowing and raining. Then I got on the bus, still ignoring him. Got off the bus, still pretending he didn't exist. And he was behind me all the time, holding the umbrella for me. Yaay, I had my free personal umbrella boy basically!

Apropos umbrella boy, there're always these boys (ojek payung) in Indonesia when it's raining, renting out umbrellas to people. Imagine yourself standing in front of a department store, you have to walk for 10 mins to your car and it's raining heavily. Then one boy offered you an umbrella to rent for 10 cents, so you took the umbrella, started to walk to your car, he's following you, soaked to the bone. You reached your car, gave him the 10 ct, and he went away, looking for another 'customer'. It's sad but hey if they can earn some extra money, why not? since the government doesn't give a darn about giving them some proper living and education.


Anyway, back to me. So, there I was, snapping at and practically abusing my bf. But instead of snapping back at me, he kept quiet and kept sheltering me with his umbrella while trying to keep pace with me (which is admittedly quite difficult since I was walking fast originally then slowed down out of sudden just to get on his nerves ---> this.. I failed miserably). He then cooked some soup at home, washed the dishes, still not saying anything.

Long story short, after the silent dinner (mea culpa, of course!), I went to the bathroom to pee and found out I'm having my monthly period, which is a totally logical explanation of why I was being so bitchy, hee hee (lame excuse!). Since the period was kinda out of schedule and unpredicted, my panties was blood-stained. So, I soaked it in some water, planning to wash it first thing tomorrow. And guess what, my fluffy hunny bunny bf washed it for me! I wasn't even aware of him washing it, till I saw the stain free panties. How cool is that!!? Even my mom wouldn't do that for me definitely!

It's either he's a masochist (self reminder: get him checked! :p) or he's head over heels in love with me, (Mind you, I know it's the latter..) but I never thought he'd do such thing for me after what I did to him.. Well, I guess the saying is true then: 'love is blind'. If I were him, I would've snapped back at me, or at least ignored me :) Hm, wait! or is this his tactic, playing the 'sweet-angelic-silently hurting-bf' card? If it's true, then he really knows how to play his card, since I'm feeling guilty right now.. ('the power of manipulation!' *cursing under breath).


Well, either way, I think I'm going to snuggle up to him, bat some not-so-long lashes and give him my cutest 'I'm sorry' look plus those huge doe eyes for extra effect (I'm SO going to buy those circle lenses!). And it doesn't hurt either that he thinks I'm über-cute, tee hee :D

hantu

Lari! Yang cepat!
terus kau perintah kakimu
membawa kamu menjauh
dari dia yang selalu mengejarmu
dia yang tidak pernah jauh
sosok hantu tanpa wajah

Kadang kau rasakan desah napasnya
di belakang tengkuk
dan kau pun menggigil takut
dingin
dan berlarilah kau makin cepat
dua kaki mencoba raih jarak
tapi ada berat yang mengikat

Mau kemana kamu?
kubuka mulut bertanya
kamu diam membisu
karna kamu tak tahu
tak kau lihat terang didepan
dan dibelakang ada dia

Lihat, kamu jatuh tersungkur
Bangun! katamu pada dua kaki
Tidak sanggup lagi, kata mereka
kamu pun berpasrah, lelah
rasakan kedatangan perlahan sang hantu
tangannya terulur sentuh bahumu
kamu siap membeku

Tunggu, tangan itu hangat
sehangat sapaan kawan lama
rasanya kau kenal dia, tidak pasti
sejenak kau pejam matamu
biarkan dia selimuti kau dengan kenangan
dan mengalirlah dua tetes air mata
saat beribu gelombang rasa kembali menerpa
rasa yang telah lama lupa

Disekanya tetes air dari sudut mata
lalu bisiknya lembut di telinga
Anak, aku bukan musuh
jangan kau lari dariku
denganku berdamailah
dan kau pun akan bebas

Kau buka matamu,
sadar dia berwajah dan bernama
ternyata kau kenal dia, amat pasti
Nama hantu itu masa lalu

TALE OF 2 COWS

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows
You give 1 cow for your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The state take over both cows and give you 2 cans of milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows
The state take over both cows and sell the milk to you.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows
The state take over both cows and shot you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows ,
The state take over both cows, shot one, get the milk from the other and throw it away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 female cows
you sell one and buy one male cow, the number of your cattle grows, and the economy grows.

SURREALISM
You have 2 cows
The government asked you to take harmonica course.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
You sell one, and force the other one to produce milk as much as 4 cows.
Then, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow died.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have 2 cows .
You minced them both.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You go in the street, gather the mass, blockade the street, because you want 3 cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
You redesigned them so they can produce 20 times as much milk.
Then you create a cartoon profile of smart cow named "Cowkimon" and sell it to the world.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You redesigned them so they can live for more than 100 years, eat only once a month, and they can milk each others.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are.
So you decide to go out for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You count them and dream what if you have 5 cows .
You count them again and dream what if you have 42 cows .
You count them again and realized that you only have 2 cows.
You stop counting and open a bottle of Vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them are yours.
Then you charge administrative fee to the owners for keeping there.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
You have 300 pepole to milk those cows.
You state that there is no unemployment, and the production rate is high.
You arrest reporters who report the truth.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You worship them.

BRITISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
Both are mad cows.

IRAQ CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have many cows
You tell them you don’t have them.
No one believes you, so they bomb and invade your country.
You still have no cows, at least now you are part of democracy.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
The left cow seems quite attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
The business seems good.
You close the office and find beer to celebrate it.

INDONESIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 stolen cows
Take a bank loan of 4 cows, then sell the 4 loan cows, and put the 2 stolen cows under your childrens name.
Tell the bank that you can not pay them, unless they finance you a milk factory.
Take the money and go to Singapore

MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
Both are stolen from Indonesia.