March 13, 2013

About death

A friend and I were talking about how we love Disney's the Lion King. "Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of your day, it's our problem free philosophy, hakuna matata!"

Then he mentioned that he disliked the fact that Simba was singing this song a day after his father died. "I would be so sad."

To this I answered,"But death is a natural part of life. People come and go, life goes on."
He stared at me unbelievingly, "Oh wow, I can't believe you just said that."

Ok, sue me. I'm heartless.
I will be very sad as well when my dad passes away. He's the love of my life. (Notice the 'when' not 'if'. I intentionally chose the word as death is a certainty anyway.) But if I can let go in a day, I will. Not meaning any disrespect to him, but this is certainly what he himself wants. 

Many years ago my weird dad had told me what to do when he passes away. Where he wants to breathe his last breath out, the procession, etc. Initially I protested and complained, but he said,"This will happen sooner or later. Nothing to be afraid of nor avoided. You need to know this, this information is necessary." So I shut up and listened.

I told my dad about my conversation with this friend and he laughed. He made me proud by stating the words I knew he would say anyway. "Life goes on. Let go."
So yea, if I can dance a day after he passes away,  I will certainly make him proud :) *though I seriously doubt if I can.

Another friend asked me if I wanted to watch Habibie & Ainun, a supposedly very beautiful love story about our former president and his wife. I said no. I admit, I am judging a book by it's cover here, but when I saw the trailer of the movie, the president was crying beside the deathbed of his wife,"Ainun, don't leave me."
I know this sounds normal and touching, but I thought to myself, why are we so selfish? Why can't we let our loved ones go in peace, trying to hold on to them eventhough it doesn't necessarily make them happy, only so that we won't experience pain of losing. I've read that many cancer patients at their final stage have actually embraced death peacefully, what makes it difficult for them is the crying family, not wanting them to go. It becomes a heavy burden for the patients, making them feel like a culprit for leaving their families behind.

As for me personally, if I have to lose my loved ones, be it because of death or move, I will send them off gracefully. "Thank you for the beautiful moments we have shared, you have enriched my life. Good bye."
And if I'm the one who have to leave my loved ones, I hope they will dance to the beat of reggae, enjoy a dry good wine and make a great bonfire out of me :)

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