"It is natural for the immature to harm others.
Getting angry with them is like resenting a fire for burning."
Today she started screaming at me. After her 10 min-non-stop insults, I started to get pissed off and I kinda practiced a meditation technique by deep breathing and being aware of our emotions. At that moment I realized,"Ok, I'm getting angry." This awareness brought me to a point where I could control my anger and I thought to myself,"I do not want to be robbed of my peace of mind therefore I'm not playing along." It worked! To my own amazement, I calmed down. I didn't respond to her anger invitation (patting myself on the back) :D
This reminds me of a friend's story about his mom. His mom was emotionally abused by his dad and she angrily complained to a monk about her depressing circumstances. The monk told her it's her fault. And she was shell shocked, started reflecting, stopped her complaining and changed her state of mind/ perception. And guess what, his dad started changing and becoming a better person as well when he noticed her becoming more calm, patient and tolerant. Just like what Gandhi said,"Be the change you want to see in the world."
A nice story about how we should deal with anger and insults.
Buddha is abused
by: Anthony de Mello (a late Jesuit priest)
Buddha seemed quite unruffled by the insults hurled at him by a visitor. When his disciples later asked him what the secret of his serenity was, he said:
"Imagine what would happen if someone placed an offering before you and you did not pick it up. Or someone sent you a letter that you refused to open; you would be unaffected by its contents, would you not?"
But despite of all our differences, I'm lucky to have a mother who loves me very much. And at the end of the day, it's all that matters.