Dear you

This post is dedicated for someone who had been one of my greatest teachers in life, showing me what patience, stability, self esteem and integrity really mean.

Living with someone who’s highly unstable had made me realized how despicable I myself was back then. Sweating the small stuffs, extreme and unpredictable mood swings, dominating and controlling, splitting and thinking in black and white, being always right, getting hysterical over past hurts, immature and impulsive behaviors. I guess I have made your life a living hell and I am terribly sorry for all the emotional roller coaster rides I had put you through.

The biggest credit goes to you for being patient, strong and cool headed in dealing with me. It must be exhausting having to tiptoe on eggshells, not knowing when the lightning bolt would strike. Having lived for a few months in this madness exhausted me to the point I felt the urge to break free.

Still, you showed great love and patience, stayed with me for all those years. Having been blind and self righteous, I took you for granted. I blamed you for everything, never even paused to look within.

And when you finally decided to do the right thing and left, still I blamed you. But now I see and am very thankful that you taught me about consequences. The curtain has lifted and I finally learned about my own flaws.  Thank you for loving me, for playing a huge role in my way of finding myself.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the happiness you really deserve, the one I had deprived you of. So long, live well, my dear friend.