I think I have to admit, at this point of my life I harbor resentment towards those those fanatical godsent churchgoers. A quite radical preacher I once met told someone that his inner eye and sensitive spirit fueled by God's wisdom saw a glimpse of my tortured soul and it was blackholey dark. He didn't even bother to have a chat with me before he made the conclusion. And he was quite persistent in his effort to reach me to get me back on the 'right' track. Well, at least I know for sure he and his loyal disciples are praying hard for my soul salvation today :)
Ok, I won't be saying anything about beliefs anymore. It brings us nowhere. They're devoted believers, whereas I ,um, how do I say this? am more like in between.
But still I wonder, how hard they try to uniform differences, how they would like to force me to see things exactly like how they see it.
I mean, let's take a so-called measurement ruler as an example. I might say it's a torture device (as I might have been beaten with one), you might say it's a nondescript plastic/wooden stuff. A student might say it's a device used to measure things, ask the tribal people out there, and they might give you other answers and point of view. Which of them is right? All of them are.
Some of us see the image of a pretty young lady, where as others see an old battered-looking woman. Which is true? You might start debating, but both are. It depends how we perceive the image, what past experiences we had, the list goes on.
As Dalai Lama said,"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road, doesnt mean they've gotten lost." But well, he's an outcast as well, no wonder he's much more tolerant of differences :D
Well, I've stopped trying to inject some sense of respect for differences on the godsends anyway. It just doesn't work, as they've put themselves on the holy pedestal, seeing things from a high and mighty throne. Who am I, a vagabond, to dare to speak to these heaven-reigning kings?
But there's one question that's still popping in my treacherous mind.
If they can respect physical differences, such as races, genders, heights, weights, limitations, even justify death, famine, poverty, illness as God's greatness, why can't they accept different ways of thinking as God's greatness as well? As it must be God himself who endows us with our logical capabilities, life experiences, etc.
They see everything as God's plan, then just let my way of thinking be God's plan as well.
If they pray that God will change the way I think or the way I perceive him, then they might start praying that he'll change my gender and race as well, just to be fair.
the bitter bitch