Oxfam

Weekend with nothing to do,

took a look at my closet, saw that it's quite über-full, decided to clean it out to accommodate my new purchases, :D I started to sort my clothes, and realized I never even wore like most of them. In these years, I just bought those clothes, and somehow they just got buried and forgotten. As I was looking online for places where I can donate them, I stumbled upon Oxfam.

I've heard about Oxfam before, but never really knew what they do, I knew they have this second-hand-shop chain, I even passed by their store a couple of times. Well, after some light researching I found out that Oxfam is a humanitarian organization, working on issues like climate change, poverty, health and education, fair trade etc, kind of remind me of Body Shop (ah, I loooove their products..)! Ok, I think I've found a proper new home for my clothes..

Their second hand shop's concept is that they take clothes, books, antiques, etc donation and resell them. The money from the sale will go to those causes.

So, now I'm sorting through my mountains of clothes, planning to bring them to the nearest Oxfam shop, and from the look of it, I'll need a big suitcase. Anyway, I have to make sure that the clothes are clean, stain-free, and in good condition, which is not a problem, since they are practically new.

But as for WHEN I'm going to bring them over is the good question. I'm just TOO lazy :( That's just so typical me, planning but not executing.

Plain looking me

My guy friend has this bizarre theory "a plain looking girl has bad personality". Actually he used the word 'ugly', but I think the word ugly is too harsh. He said these plain looking girls usually have jealousy issues (jealous of their prettier counterparts), which leads to much bitching.

He stated that this pattern can be seen on little girls, and more specifically his cousin, a plain looking little girl. She tends to crave the parent's attention by using damaging means. She fights often and gets jealous of her siblings, since her parents naturally love their prettier siblings more than them (this is his theory). And she will always have this attitude even after she's grown up.

Is this only a shallow theory from an immature boy justifying his tendency of hitting on pretty girls?

If this is true, then plain looking girls really have to work harder in this life, don't they? Since they're condemned to have even worse personalities. Plain looking equals plain personality. No outer beauty and no inner beauty either.

Oh, maybe that's why I have this blatantly rude personality! Ah, I wish I were prettier so that I too have charming personality. Does this sound stupid to you? maybe yes, maybe no.

Every girl has her own insecurities, even if she's already gorgeous. I know this one very pretty girl, everyone thinks she should be an actress and will give her 9 out of 10 for her beauty. You sure will think that she's very confident given her looks, right? Well, you're wrong. She still craves for attention of the opposite gender and likes to collect her fans like trophies just to brag and reassure herself of her beauty.

Everyone has this 'am I ugly' down syndrome, we all know that sometimes we have this 'omg, I'm so pretty' moments, but also those moments where our self confidence hits the bottom, and there we start to question our own attractiveness.

If we had the most supportive environment where beauty doesn't matter, then it would certainly be easier to deal with our insecurities. But unfortunately for most, we grew up to the Vogue image. So, there goes our self esteem, if there's even any.

I hereby declare that I officially hate Gisele Bündchen for her perfectness I see on magazines. See? how my friend's bizarre theory just works... plain looking girl like me (compared to Gisele) gets jealous all the time. But have you ever thought that maybe, MAYBE, Gisele gets jealous too? or maybe there are moments where her self esteem hits the bottom? If she does, it justifies us the 'normal' people to feel that way, doesn't it?

Honestly, I myself never thought that I'm that ugly. Sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and fall in love with my own reflection. Mind you, I even kissed my reflection and thought," jeez, I'm good looking!" (Did I just admit that!?). But when I read those mags, I don't feel so in love with myself anymore. That's why maybe it's good to have supportive people around you to constantly remind you that you're beautiful. Or maybe we girls should form this support group where everyone assures everyone that he/she is beautiful instead of criticizing each other, like we all know girls do?

Pindahan ah

Ok, I don't realize that I have another blog, the one on Friendster. I'll just copy-paste the entries.

Entry from Saturday, March 29th 2008

What’s wrong with being Homer?

I was browsing through a handbag forum yesterday and stumbled upon a thread ‘how do you afford your bags’. There’s this one american lady replying ," Prostituting, organ selling, human trafficking.". Of course if was meant to be a joke and people are laughing at her reply. Then there’s a russian girl replying angrily, " How can you guys joke about those things. You are all so uneducated.". And they started bickering.

A : " Hello! Harvard grad here!"

(well, these ladies actually have those high-end jobs, doctors, lawyers, paralegals,etc,so I won’t exactly call them uneducated :D)

After a long heated arguments, it turned out that this russian lady’s neighbor had to sell her kidney to feed her children and pay off debts.

A : " It’s a joke. Stop taking it so seriously and you’re in a HANDBAG forum where we are allowed to be shallow."

R : " Are you all going to laugh if I make jokes about WTC, obesity, or Bush’s policy on Iraq?"

– Silence –

At this point I started to laugh with irony. It’s so obvious that people can only laugh about issues we don’t have to deal with, and when faced with our own issues, we get touchy and judgmental like the second lady accusing the first lady of being uneducated and the first one who can’t laugh about her own issues. But can we really laugh at our own ’scars’? Should we try?

Things are always better said than done. Someone told me yesterday that I am materialistic and that I ask my boyfriends to buy me expensive things. I was kinda pissed off. For the information, I don’t have any sugar daddy (though I really wish I had one, LOL). I do own those bags, shoes, etc, but I bought them with my own hard-earned money. (*cough-and parent’s-cough*) and never asked my dates or boyfriends to buy me those.

According to Merriam Webster dic, materialistic : a preoccupation with or stress upon material rather than intellectual or spiritual things.

Speaking of materialistic, I love my little ‘worldly possession’ but I also do care about global warming, and other things going around me. I always try to save energy, I seldom watch TV, turn off all the electronic devices, I turn off the water tap when brushing my teeth, etc. You can say I’m stingy, but I really try to cut my CO2 emission.

I was thinking why I got angry about this subject, is it maybe because deep down I’m ashamed of my extravagant way of life, or ashamed of those shallow people out there (which is being represented so well by me), or is it because people judge me wrongly though I have to admit there’s no smoke without fire?

After some thinking (don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t take me long to do some thinkings, since I only have the brain capacity of Homer *Simpson! not the Iliad-greek-poet* and the concentration capability of a poodle.) Hey, no offense to all the poodle-lovers out there. I realize I was angry because I think too highly of myself and I can’t accept that other people don’t think so too. And now I try to accept the fact that I’m not that cool and smile at the comment with ease and (still) irony.

Apropos Homer, I took a how-stupid-are-you test yesterday. And yes, I am as slow (or stupid, in other word) as Homer Simpson! I don’t know whether I have to laugh or grimace. But since grimacing is said to be accelerating the aging and wrinkling process, and I’m not that smart as well, I think I should laugh at my own stupidity, shouldn’t I? What’s wrong with being Homer anyway? He maybe is slow but at least he has a good heart. (eh, does he?).

Pindahan ah #3

I was shallowly devastated because I couldn't go to Egypt on holiday :)

Bye bye Egypt

Ok, before you start protesting, I know this is too much, 3 entries in one night. But I am just totally inspired right now. Maybe ‘inspired’ isn’t the right word, maybe it’s more like ‘releasing the need to blabber’ (is that the right term?) after the 3-year-writing-vacancy, and I’ve never kept any journal either.

My Egypt trip is officially canceled. *sobs*

I was planning to go to Cairo with a friend for the Christmas holiday… am really looking forward to it. But I’ve just recently realized that I have to extend my visa in December, and the process will take about 2 weeks approximately. I couldn’t book the ticket, because I wouldn’t know when exactly I’ll get my passport back. Yes, they will take away my passport. And after I get back my passport I can’t go either, since the plane tickets price will be soaring high. I think the big guys from those airplane companies can buy a new car every Christmas!

And the friend, who’s supposed to travel with me to Egypt, goes to Paris instead! And same old story, I can’t go, I won’t have any passport….

poor me poor me… *self pity mode on*

So, I guess I’ll have convince myself to face the fact that I’ll be spending the holiday in Berlin (just like every other years)..

*for P.S : if you read this, don’t forget that you still owe me an Egypt trip!

Pindahan ah #2

I wrote this for my dear friend or cousin who hated her job back then.

For my dear friend, the SQ girl :)

Be brave, little girl
for courage is what counts
I know it’s tiring to put on a fake smile
and that you feel like you can’t carry on.
But time flies, little girl
And when it’s all over,
you’ll look back and smile at the memories
and the tears you now shed.
I can’t hold your hand,
but I’m all ear for you.
That I can promise.
Be strong, little girl
for your friend will always be here for you.